1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,297 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:16,265 {\an8}[scoffs] If you ask me, any room with Patty and Selma in it is an escape room. 3 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:20,394 {\an8}I know you don't like Patty, Selma, puzzles or parties, 4 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:24,399 {\an8}but try to enjoy Patty and Selma's puzzle party. 5 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:31,363 {\an8}Comrades, as your damaged Soviet submarine sinks, 6 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:34,742 {\an8}you must solve a series of puzzles to escape. 7 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:38,829 {\an8}Should you need help, you can request up to five hints. 8 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,873 {\an8}[laughs] 9 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,334 {\an8}We've escaped from every fake dungeon, zombie space station 10 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,628 {\an8}and unlicensed Hogwarts in this county. 11 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,088 {\an8}With no hints. 12 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,133 {\an8}Good luck and do svidaniya. 13 00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,302 {\an8}I escaped! See you later. 14 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,512 [beeps] 15 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,473 {\an8}Lisa, search the Captain's locker. 16 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,142 {\an8}Marge, torpedo bay! 17 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,894 {\an8}[grunts] 18 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:02,978 {\an8}Hint! 19 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:05,230 {\an8}No! No hints. 20 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,524 {\an8}[Squeaky-Voiced Teen] That door is painted on, sir. 21 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,068 {\an8}You've used one hint. 22 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,071 {\an8}You ruined our perfect hint-free streak, 23 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,074 {\an8}you Crisco-chugging pistachio brain! 24 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,160 {\an8}Yeah, well you're a, uh, uh... 25 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,745 {\an8}- Hint? - [Squeaky-Voiced Teen] I don't know, 26 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,371 {\an8}something about her hair, maybe? 27 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,373 {\an8}That doesn't count as a hint! 28 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:24,458 {\an8}Yes, it does! 29 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,668 {\an8}[both growl] 30 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,089 {\an8}Separate. 31 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,882 [growls] 32 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,467 [both hiss] 33 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,760 Homer, away. 34 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:35,844 Patty, tss, tss. 35 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,388 Selma, corner. Corner! 36 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,475 [Patty, Selma, Homer grumble, huff] 37 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,396 Why was I in another award show "in memoriam" package? 38 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,023 Oh. Okay then. 39 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,942 Then why did they boo me? 40 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,235 Oh, okay then. 41 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,320 Herschella! 42 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,906 If you're wearing a robe, cinch it! 43 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,616 Aunt Sadie! 44 00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,202 My favorite aunt who still talks to me. 45 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,247 To what do I owe this barging in? 46 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,416 Sideshow Mel asked me to be a guest on your podcast. 47 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,252 I have a podcast? 48 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,087 Talking Krusty! 49 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:14,216 It's that thing where people who worked on a TV show talk about old episodes. 50 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,384 What do you call it? 51 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,511 A-A rewatch podcast. 52 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,597 Why has this been hidden from me? 53 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,142 [growls] 54 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,643 [laughter] 55 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,604 So, right in the middle of the Game of Thrones sketch 56 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,191 where the thrones were toilets, the cue cards went missing. 57 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,651 What a story. 58 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,444 Only in showbiz! 59 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,531 Why the hell didn't you tell me about this show, about my show? 60 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,741 We've begged you many times to come on. 61 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,077 Shut up, you backstabbing traitor! 62 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,745 Who the hell are you, mustache? 63 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,581 And who's the skirt in the pants? 64 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,041 That's Wayne the Grip and Jodie from Props. 65 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,460 They've been with the show since day one. 66 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:53,922 What? You don't recognize the people who work on your own show? 67 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,342 [grunting] 68 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:00,345 [grunting continues] 69 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,430 [sighs] 70 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,099 You're crying because they're doing a podcast without you. 71 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,475 Now, here's your chance. 72 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:06,935 So sit your butt in the chair 73 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,855 and make with the reminiscing with your friends from work. 74 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,066 Yeah, my friends from work. Uh... [laughs] 75 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,152 Yeah. 76 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,615 [Mr. Teeny screams] 77 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,033 [Krusty sighs] 78 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,702 [alarm blaring] 79 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,120 We've solved every puzzle. 80 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,623 Why can't we find the key to open the door? 81 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:31,001 We've never failed an escape room, and we're not starting now. 82 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,629 Forgive me, Selma. 83 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,255 - Hint! - [Squeaky-Voiced Teen] The bald man 84 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,674 who hates you found the exit key 20 minutes ago 85 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,677 and has been using it to scratch his butt out of spite. 86 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,512 Spite. 87 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:44,056 [beeps] 88 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,058 [Squeaky-Voiced Teen] Your mission has failed. 89 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,435 The frozen sea has claimed your bodies. 90 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:51,939 And your grieving children will be sent to the gulag. 91 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,732 Happy birthday! 92 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,610 We're dead? I'll kill you! 93 00:03:56,611 --> 00:04:00,572 - [Patty, Selma, Homer growling, grunting] - Separate! 94 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,491 [Marge strains, grunts] 95 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,369 - [both groan] - [Homer grunts] 96 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,205 We did it, boys. We prayed our way out. 97 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,790 - Yay! - Yay! 98 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,960 Birthday ruined! 99 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:17,297 [groaning] 100 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:20,842 Okay, so there we are, in the finals of the kid show softball league, 101 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:25,973 it is 110 degrees and we're playing those psycho cheaters from Bluey. 102 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,851 They slide spikes up, that's for sure. 103 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:35,023 And this is another activity you missed out on with your work family? 104 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,400 I wasn't invited. 105 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,651 That's on them. 106 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,738 Well, in our defense, you don't seem like you want to do things with the crew. 107 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,490 You don't look anyone in the eye. 108 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,701 You address people by their shirt color. 109 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,494 That's not true, green shirt. 110 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:51,581 Herschella Krustofsky, you self-absorbed degenerate freak! 111 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:57,087 You're a lonely, sad narcissist who has no connection to his fellow man. 112 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,673 You're an empty Hollywood elitist clown 113 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:03,677 who's gonna die alone on a toilet kissing your own headshot. 114 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,804 I don't know how to connect with nobodies. 115 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,180 It's not my fault. 116 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,683 Listen up, and listen good. 117 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,353 The problem is you. 118 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,731 [crying] 119 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,149 My God, you're right. 120 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,692 I'm the problem. 121 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,111 I've worked with these good people for 30 years 122 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,364 and I haven't made a single friend. 123 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:29,495 If I can't change, I'll never be happy. 124 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:35,542 And we'll be back after this word from 3 Day Clams, 125 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:39,464 fresh clams, from the sea to your door in three business days. 126 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,759 [Aunt Sadie] Listen up, and listen good. 127 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,428 The problem is you. 128 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,346 Brake! 129 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,513 - [shouts, grunts] - [crashes] 130 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:52,100 "The problem is you." [chuckles] What a catchphrase. 131 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:55,103 We could build an entire TV show out of that. 132 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:58,523 Krusty's brash, no nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is Aunt Sadie 133 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,360 fixes broken relationships in 30 minutes? 134 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,444 Exactly. 135 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,780 Like Judge Judy, but we get the money. 136 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:08,116 All we have to do is choose the heaviest metallic sound effect 137 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,868 for when the title slams in. 138 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,787 [metal crashing] 139 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,789 {\an8}[Krusty] Coming up on The Problem Is You, 140 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,167 {\an8}Aunt Sadie faces her toughest challenge yet. 141 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,836 {\an8}And I'm there too! 142 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,590 {\an8}What's hiding behind those chuckles, hmm? 143 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,177 {\an8}Another glass of rosé will not fix this. 144 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:30,263 {\an8}[Krusty continues] And you won't believe where the final finger points. 145 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:33,434 {\an8}The problem is you! 146 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,145 {\an8}Mmm. Hmm. 147 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:40,899 {\an8}Oh. Old Maid looks 20 years younger. 148 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,652 {\an8}Dad, I thought you hated family game night. 149 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:47,823 {\an8}No, I hated extended family game night. 150 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,825 {\an8}With your evil, terrible aunts. 151 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,785 {\an8}Can you please make up with them? 152 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:56,790 {\an8}We really need six people to play The Three Duos of Half-Dozen Mountain. 153 00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:01,586 {\an8}Honey, if I could wave a magic wand and make Patty and Selma not suck, I would. 154 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:05,132 {\an8}But it's probably best we get used to never seeing them again. 155 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,217 {\an8}[doorbell rings] 156 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,718 - [screams] Them! - Where's Marge? 157 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,803 Is she okay? 158 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,722 She texted us she fell off the roof cleaning the gutters. 159 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:15,892 I lied about that to get you all here together. 160 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,769 I did clean the gutters, though. 161 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,521 And I did fall off the roof. 162 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,858 After all these years, it's obvious I can't get 163 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,651 the three of you to stop fighting. 164 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,361 [brakes squeal] 165 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,614 But I think I found someone who can. 166 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,617 Homer, Patty, Selma. 167 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:36,580 By the time I'm done with you, you'll be as close as a family can be. 168 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,249 [all scream] 169 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:45,505 Marge, dear, what's the who, why and how of this family row? 170 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,591 Well, it's complicated. 171 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,260 I hate jerks and they hate cool guys. 172 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,344 End of story. 173 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,346 We didn't like each other from the start. 174 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:57,934 But things got really ugly at that fateful baby shower. 175 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:01,271 [Selma] We wanted that day to be perfect for our sister. 176 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,355 And it was. 177 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:06,610 [Patty] Until this idiot botched the one and only job we'd given him. 178 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,904 - I got the cake. - [both scream] 179 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,697 We said a carrot cake. 180 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,533 I know, but chocolate is me and Marge's favorite. 181 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,784 [breathing heavily] 182 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:17,037 Luckily, I brought a backup carrot cake 183 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:21,042 because I knew "The Impreginator" here would screw it up. 184 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,794 - You undermining land-hags! - What's the matter? 185 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:28,632 You tell these traitors that your favorite cake is chocolate, 186 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:33,428 and that you despise carrot cake because it's a garden salad with frosting! 187 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,431 It's fine. Please don't fight. 188 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,767 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm. 189 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,144 See, see? I like both cakes. 190 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,521 No, she doesn't. 191 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,231 Eat wrong cake. 192 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,317 [grunting] 193 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:51,196 [Marge] It was at that moment I realized the only solution 194 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:55,825 was to keep my husband and sisters separated from then on. 195 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,369 So, Marge, who was right? 196 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,288 What is your favorite cake flavor? 197 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,334 It's neither. I like vanilla. Only vanilla. 198 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,920 The less flavor, the better. 199 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,005 Vanilla is the opposite of chocolate. 200 00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,382 Carrot is the opposite of cake! 201 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,884 Marge ruined her life when she met you! 202 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,135 Shut up! 203 00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,346 I've heard enough of your bip-da-bip-da-bip! 204 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,973 You three disgust me. 205 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,475 May you walk under a falling air conditioner. 206 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,602 That said, the problem... 207 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,020 is you! 208 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,022 - [all gasp] - Me? 209 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,566 How can I be the problem? 210 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,276 I'm the Marge of this. 211 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,069 Oh, please. 212 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,823 If you actually wanted peace, you'd stop interfering. 213 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:39,244 Let these three lunatics work out their meshugas among themselves! 214 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,330 Why on earth would I want them to fight? 215 00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:43,665 So you could be the martyr. 216 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:47,085 You keep them separated so they won't stop fighting. 217 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,297 God forbid they should ever bury the hatchet and who knows... [scoffs] 218 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,381 ...become friends? 219 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:55,635 Because then Saint Marge doesn't get to run the show! 220 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:56,886 - [Marge shouts] - [crashing] 221 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,138 - [Bart] Hey! - [crashing continues] 222 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,222 [Marge] Lamp! Ooh, ow. 223 00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:01,683 That's the craziest thing I ever heard. 224 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,059 I'm the nicest. 225 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,603 I love everyone. 226 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,813 Out, out, out, out. Get out. 227 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,190 I unsign all the waivers. 228 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,068 Shh. Shoo, shoo, shoo. 229 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,904 This is what showbiz is all about, huh, Wayne the Grip? 230 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,072 The camaraderie. 231 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,783 [yelps] Why do you know my name? Please don't fire me. 232 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,661 I need to support my stepson's illegal street racing habit. 233 00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,122 Relax, my fruit-vaping friend. 234 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,917 I'm just like you, a member of the crew family. 235 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,588 Really? You always seemed like you couldn't stand us below-the-line guys. 236 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,759 Ugh. What I can't stand is that old-fashioned Hollywood expression. 237 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:40,055 Why should there be some imaginary line separating the so-called "talent" 238 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,515 from the hardworking riffraff like you? 239 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:46,686 If I could, I'd make it so the line never existed. 240 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,772 [chuckles] That's pretty cool of you, man. 241 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,941 You know, I'm hosting a crawfish boil this weekend for the crew. 242 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,026 You should come. 243 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:57,030 You're inviting me to your that? 244 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,698 Just watch out for my friend Jimmy. 245 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,409 He will flick you in the nuts if you're not looking. 246 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,454 I look forward to it. 247 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:09,042 Where does that judgmental old clown-aunt get off saying I'm the problem? 248 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,670 How could I be the reason you three don't get along? 249 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,505 [chuckles] That lady's off her rocker. 250 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,881 Thank you, sweetie. 251 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,467 You always know how to agree with me. 252 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,220 Yes, I do. 253 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,893 [scoffs] As if there were a world where I'd be friends with my worst enemies. 254 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:30,189 [thinking] Hmm. Friends with Patty and Selma. 255 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,123 What are you doing here, Homer? 256 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,541 This isn't you. 257 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,544 You're not this person. 258 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,295 So, here we all are. 259 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,048 If I could have stayed away, I would have. 260 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,717 Part of me wants to run. 261 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,803 Part of me knows I'm through running. 262 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,348 Do you think there's any truth to what the mean lady said? 263 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:09,310 That we would be friends if not for Marge? 264 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,229 I know I don't wanna believe it. 265 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,398 We need to figure out if this is real. 266 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:17,862 I know a place where we can explore these feelings discreetly. 267 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,657 Patty and Selma, welcome to Moe's. 268 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,327 Weird how the sunlight stops at the doorway. 269 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,829 Like it's afraid to come in. 270 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,667 Yeah, a scientist tried to explain it one time and went crazy. 271 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,252 [Moe] Homer. Psst. Homer! 272 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,796 Hey, I said "psst!" 273 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,340 Who are these two goddesses? 274 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,925 They're Marge's sisters. 275 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,678 Midge has two hotter sisters? 276 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,513 Patty and Selma. 277 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,848 Pidge and Sidge? 278 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,767 Well, yeah. They're twins. 279 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,436 Oh, my God. Twins? 280 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,021 I always dreamed of hooking up with twins, 281 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,357 ever since I saw that old commercial for the movie Twins. 282 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,067 Patty's a lesbian, so I don't think-- 283 00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,904 And one of 'em has zero interest in men? 284 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,822 I think I'm in love over here. 285 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,534 How could you keep this from me? How could you do it? 286 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,998 - [Homer] Hmm. - [Selma] Hmm. 287 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,458 [Homer] Hmm. 288 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,503 All these years, we treated each other like garbage, 289 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,421 but it was Marge's fault. 290 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,925 I hope we can find it in ourselves to forgive her. 291 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,761 Seeing as we're such great people, we probably will. 292 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,138 To the three... 293 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,890 amigos? 294 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,520 Four. You're so fat, you count twice. 295 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:34,855 Zing! 296 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,564 "Twice." 297 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,734 Said the spinster with a toilet brush for a head! 298 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,946 - Zing! - [all laugh] 299 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,322 - Good one. - Now that we're buddies, 300 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,576 our horrible insults are just delightful zings. 301 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,412 Look, Homer, it's your head. 302 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,248 It's even got your IQ! 303 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,415 Zing! 304 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,751 [creaking] 305 00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:01,965 [grunting] It's like I'm being crushed by two sacks of wet mail! 306 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,425 [both grunting] Zing! 307 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:09,557 Did you have to audition for this part or did your agent just get a call? 308 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,100 [whispers] Zing. 309 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,102 Thirty-eight minutes. 310 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,562 No hints. 311 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,189 I stayed out of the way. 312 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:18,815 Homer? 313 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,233 [all scream] Marge! 314 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,946 Dad, are you hanging out with Patty and Selma? 315 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,447 - [both stammering] - No, the thing is... 316 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,700 It seems like you guys are friends. 317 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,577 - I wouldn't just... Why would I... - [both stammering] 318 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,622 If you guys are getting along without me, 319 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,457 the problem is me. 320 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,002 [metal crashing] 321 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,632 Open. 322 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,093 - Friends. - [Patty] Mmm. Unlikely friends. 323 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,012 [Homer] Now, remember, no splashing. 324 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,847 - [splashing] - [Homer giggling] Oh, no. 325 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,433 Mom, you should go down and join them. 326 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,101 No. I'd only cause trouble. 327 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,686 Because I'm the problem. 328 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:57,771 [groans] 329 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,023 Of course you're not. 330 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,108 No, I am. It's fine though. 331 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,360 Your father and my sisters getting along was my dream, 332 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,237 and it happened, and now my life is perfect. 333 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,865 Hooray for TV therapy. Hooray, hooray, hooray! 334 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,992 So perfect that you're up here watching them 335 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,870 while you refold laundry that's already been folded? 336 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,831 Maybe I don't do things right the first time. 337 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,207 Or any time. 338 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,335 [whimpering] 339 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,712 Bart, Mom has candy! 340 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,297 Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy! 341 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,215 [whimpering continues] 342 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:27,592 [sobs] 343 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,387 I ruined everything. 344 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,431 Candy? 345 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,064 [groaning] 346 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,816 Krusty! You made it! 347 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:48,488 Like I'm not gonna drive three hours to be with my crew family. 348 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,532 You got a little water prison for the kids. Nice. 349 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,825 Oh, it's a pool. 350 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,745 No, pools go in the ground. 351 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,330 Oh, you gotta meet my neighbors. 352 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,748 That's Phil, he's a cop. 353 00:15:58,749 --> 00:15:59,916 Joe, cop. 354 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,876 Cop, cop, cop. 355 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:05,547 [chuckling] I love law enforcement and laws. 356 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,342 Hey, little help, K-dog? 357 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,760 [chuckles] I can do this. 358 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,178 I bet on this sport. 359 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,430 [grunts] 360 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,229 [children crying] 361 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,980 [child] Mommy! 362 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816 Walk it off, Jayden. Walk it off. 363 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,114 The dunes are calling your name, bro! 364 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,534 [partygoers cheering] 365 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:39,080 My stepson's stepson, he built this baby out of boat parts. 366 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,250 So no brakes or safety features to weigh you down. 367 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,377 Smart. 368 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,503 Is there a helmet? 369 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,339 Statistically, you're safer without one. 370 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,842 Gotta do your own research. 371 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,801 Okay, I can do this. 372 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,096 Just take it slow and steady. 373 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:57,432 - [yelps] - [crashes] 374 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,726 - [partygoers gasp] - [Krusty grunting] 375 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,310 Hey, the CPR worked! 376 00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:03,938 Hey, when your heart stopped, which heaven did you see? 377 00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:08,151 Jet Ski paintball next weekend at Concrete Lake, K-dog! You in? 378 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,070 Wouldn't miss it. 379 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:13,823 [announcer] It's The Problem Is You 380 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,784 Season Finale Reunion Special! 381 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,787 [cheering] 382 00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,164 Welcome! 383 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,709 On our first hit season, we solved a lot of problems. 384 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,335 And here they are now! 385 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,420 [audience cheers] 386 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,840 So, how's everybody doing? 387 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,925 [stammering] When you find out that you're the problem, 388 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:36,721 even though you could have sworn, and I mean with every fiber of your being, 389 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,222 that it was the other guy, 390 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,557 it's very, well... 391 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,559 Uh, I don't know, freeing? I don't know. 392 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:46,231 I was so controlling of Percival, but now I just let him roam free. 393 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,358 Oh, Aunt Sadie, you changed all our lives. 394 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:53,279 Once you helped Marge step back from decades of sabotaging us, 395 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,114 it's been so good for her. 396 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,908 - Right, honey? - That's right. 397 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,326 I'm gonna be honest. 398 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:02,288 There was a time when I thought maybe we were doing something wrong. 399 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,916 But we were completely blameless. 400 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,626 Not me. I'm to blame. 401 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,086 The problem is Marge. 402 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,214 All those things that used to bother me about Marge's sisters, 403 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,715 they just don't anymore. 404 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:15,635 I can remember, for example, when I wouldn't be able 405 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,262 to stand the way he's breathing right now. 406 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,682 Oh. Was I breathing loud? I'm sorry. 407 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,059 Doesn't bother me either. 408 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:27,146 Good. Because the cigarette ash in your eyebrows doesn't bother me. 409 00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:30,817 I'm not sitting here thinking, "How could there be so much of it?" 410 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,777 [Patty, Selma grumble] 411 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,821 Kumiko, tell me, is your husband still skipping 412 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,074 the episode "previously on's" even though you find them helpful? 413 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,910 You wanna know something else that doesn't bother me? 414 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,247 That he only cuts his fingernails on his left hand. 415 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,583 I'm a righty, so I can't use the clippers with my left. 416 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,420 Again, it doesn't bother us. 417 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,216 [laughs] Hey, Marge, you wanna step in here? 418 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,634 You mean separate you? 419 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,553 Oh, no. No, not me. 420 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,264 I don't do that anymore. 421 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,895 You disgust me! 422 00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,605 - Groom yourself! - You first! 423 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:12,316 You don't yell at a reunion show, you sick morons! 424 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:15,111 Look at these losers I cured. 425 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,113 Cheapskate, fixed! 426 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,323 Daddy issues, fixed! 427 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,742 Impotent, came to terms with. 428 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,828 [groans] 429 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,079 You fixed nothing! 430 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,541 You plaster over real problems with an easy catchphrase. 431 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,419 These three have hated each other since the moment they met. 432 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,173 And all you did was give them a reason to not feel guilty about it. 433 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,800 Don't talk to me about guilt. 434 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,260 I invented guilt! 435 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:44,056 No! It's my turn to yell! And point and point and point! 436 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,809 You can't solve relationships in 30 minutes. 437 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:53,274 It requires years of constant hard work and deep self-reflection from all parties. 438 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,444 I didn't sign up for self-reflection. 439 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,946 Now you want me to work at my marriage? 440 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:02,200 Oh, I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the pugs! 441 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,119 [arguing] 442 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:09,332 I'm Marge Simpson, and the problem is not me. 443 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,708 I see it now. 444 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,543 The problem's not me either. 445 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,463 I was wrong to try to form human connections 446 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,506 with the people that work for me. 447 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,717 Well, I don't think that's the lesson. 448 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:23,054 Why should I spend time with anyone below-the-line? 449 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,889 The line is there for a reason. 450 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,183 The line is an absolute good. 451 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,477 The line is life! 452 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,812 I always knew that guy was a phony. 453 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,650 Let's go rub our butts on his sushi. 454 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,776 Don't you leave me! 455 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:40,113 I've got an hour to fill with you mental cases. 456 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,745 You need my yelling! 457 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,334 I'm so sorry for your loss, Krusty. 458 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,420 Who said you could talk to me? 459 00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,672 Oh! Here we go. 460 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,007 That's Jimmy! 461 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,852 {\an8}[Sideshow Mel] If you're like me, and you love shellfish, 462 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,229 {\an8}and you're not in a hurry... 463 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,357 {\an8}Did you know that 94% of clams are perfectly safe to eat 464 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,401 {\an8}after three business days? 465 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:22,655 {\an8}So the next time it's Wednesday, and you feel like having clams 466 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:26,659 {\an8}on the following Monday, visit three-day-clams.com. 467 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:30,204 {\an8}Order a dozen little necks and get a shucker for free. 468 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:34,959 {\an8}Though with three-day-old clams, they practically open themselves. 469 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,420 {\an8}One taste and you'll say, "Wow. 470 00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:40,589 {\an8}These clams are fresh enough." 471 00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:44,010 {\an8}Consult your physician before ordering 3 Day Clams. 472 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,637 {\an8}See terms and restrictions at three-day-clams.com. 473 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,558 {\an8}Delivery and all food-poisoning concerns, call 1-555-CLAM-HELP. 474 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,562 3 Day Clams is not an endorsement of eating three-day-old clams.